This month is going to be super crazy!! So, it's nice that I'll be getting a computer soon. Sharing doesn't cut it when you have a test or homework due and your friend's parents are ineptly but enthusiastically navigating Facebook.
So, I was blown away (but ecstatic) when my mother offered the laptop (which we used to share when we lived together) to me. Of course, she tried to back out later and offer me an iPad instead. I mean, an iPad sounds nice and all--and I love techie stuff--but a laptop is just more practical. I've been choosing practically over beauty a lot more than I used to--I'll blog more on that later.
All I have to do is take a 6 hour round-trip drive to visit her and pick it up. That isn't so bad (watch me return incapable of human speech and drooling all over myself). No--Imah wants to set me up with someone. The problem is, it sounds like she's matching this guy with the old me (no one tells their mothers exactly everything, right? or do they??). I know she's been showing pictures of me around to anyone with fully functioning eyes, so it isn't surprising that this guy wants to meet me (as she says). I can't tell her everything--she's extremely strict, traditional, and easily shocked when it comes to my behaviors and actions--so I decided to give her a hint about some of the ways I've changed.
"Does he believe that men should be ruled by women? That women belong in the home?" I gave a feminist schpeel (I forgot to say that he can make his own damn sandwich--bugger! lol) to freak her out (because it will) and let her know that I am not interested in getting a husband--or kids (especially not kids!). She hasn't answered me since. I think I feed her too much new and foreign info to process.
Well, let me critique her praises of this marvelous mystery man. He went some college she approves of (this means little anymore). He has dark eyes and eyelashes (really, mother--eyelashes? somebody's staring too much). He served in the military (eh, I really don't think that's...um...as marriage potential, those men make me nervous). He looks young (I made my bf grow a beard so I don't feel like I'm dating a 12-year old--it's just creepy!). He likes old music and movies (ok, first, sorry--I have never liked old music; ok, a classic here and there but not regularly. As for movies, the year doesn't matter, I just want some ACTION!). He dislikes newer stuff (so...no Firefly or V for Vendetta? Screw that!). He's into his fancy old car (instead of ignoring me for his videogames, he'll ignore me for his car fetish--well, that sounds productive), and driving fast (F^*& no!!!!!! She knows I hate speed!!). His other qualities include: "sweet, fun, great attitude, honest." That's wonderful, mother, why don't you take him. She actually told me to ditch the "blondie/blue-eyes." That sounds a little racist to me.
She wants to set me up with this new guy. Ew. Romance isn't really my thing. This sounds suspiciously like a blind date. No way in hell!! I'm bringing out my goth tramp persona for this trip. Hmm...it might be fun after all! (I just love freaking people out!) :-D
P.S. If it seems like I condone anything about this guy, I was being sarcastic.
So, I was blown away (but ecstatic) when my mother offered the laptop (which we used to share when we lived together) to me. Of course, she tried to back out later and offer me an iPad instead. I mean, an iPad sounds nice and all--and I love techie stuff--but a laptop is just more practical. I've been choosing practically over beauty a lot more than I used to--I'll blog more on that later.
All I have to do is take a 6 hour round-trip drive to visit her and pick it up. That isn't so bad (watch me return incapable of human speech and drooling all over myself). No--Imah wants to set me up with someone. The problem is, it sounds like she's matching this guy with the old me (no one tells their mothers exactly everything, right? or do they??). I know she's been showing pictures of me around to anyone with fully functioning eyes, so it isn't surprising that this guy wants to meet me (as she says). I can't tell her everything--she's extremely strict, traditional, and easily shocked when it comes to my behaviors and actions--so I decided to give her a hint about some of the ways I've changed.
"Does he believe that men should be ruled by women? That women belong in the home?" I gave a feminist schpeel (I forgot to say that he can make his own damn sandwich--bugger! lol) to freak her out (because it will) and let her know that I am not interested in getting a husband--or kids (especially not kids!). She hasn't answered me since. I think I feed her too much new and foreign info to process.
Well, let me critique her praises of this marvelous mystery man. He went some college she approves of (this means little anymore). He has dark eyes and eyelashes (really, mother--eyelashes? somebody's staring too much). He served in the military (eh, I really don't think that's...um...as marriage potential, those men make me nervous). He looks young (I made my bf grow a beard so I don't feel like I'm dating a 12-year old--it's just creepy!). He likes old music and movies (ok, first, sorry--I have never liked old music; ok, a classic here and there but not regularly. As for movies, the year doesn't matter, I just want some ACTION!). He dislikes newer stuff (so...no Firefly or V for Vendetta? Screw that!). He's into his fancy old car (instead of ignoring me for his videogames, he'll ignore me for his car fetish--well, that sounds productive), and driving fast (F^*& no!!!!!! She knows I hate speed!!). His other qualities include: "sweet, fun, great attitude, honest." That's wonderful, mother, why don't you take him. She actually told me to ditch the "blondie/blue-eyes." That sounds a little racist to me.
She wants to set me up with this new guy. Ew. Romance isn't really my thing. This sounds suspiciously like a blind date. No way in hell!! I'm bringing out my goth tramp persona for this trip. Hmm...it might be fun after all! (I just love freaking people out!) :-D
P.S. If it seems like I condone anything about this guy, I was being sarcastic.
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