This funeral's a Funhouse!

Sunday Stealing: The Madness Meme, Part 1

Cheers to all of us thieves!
1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? I've never even heard of that. Doesn't sound sanitary...yuck!

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? 9 years. 

3. Ever been in a car wreck? Yes. My life flashed before my eyes. I was just a kid at the time, so the flash was short.

4. Were you popular in high school? I was going through an anti-social phase and begged to be home-schooled for high school. I got away with it. From all I've heard from different people, it sounds like hell. I'm glad I made that choice. 

5. Have you ever been on a blind date? No way. It's just not for me.

6. Are looks important? No. It's brains that get me hot. :D

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more? Yes. A very few.

8. By what age would you like to be married? That's not something I'm worried about right now--or even want to think about. 

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them? Maybe? It depends. If the number of partners surpasses the person's age, then, yes, I'd say there was issue. 

10. Have you ever made a mistake? I'm faultless! Unless we're talking math class. For reason, the mistakes I made were always the stupid, little things! Grr.

11. Are you a good tipper? I usually tip too much. My obsessive/compulsive side likes to tip in multiples of 5. Weird, huh?

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? $20. Usually, I get someone I know to do it.

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? I like older men but...no. 

14. Have you ever peed in public? I'm sure I have...as a child...while wearing a diaper...and nobody knew...unless Imah checked my diaper. 

15. What song do you want played at your funeral? Maybe a song by P!nk (Get This Party Started or Funhouse). "Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is Dead" is a contender, too.

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay? This question stumps me. I can't even decide if I'd be a butch or femme... :-/

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed? Ice cream!! Vanilla with caramel and toffee. Then, some peppermint ice cream. Also, some key lime pie. What? Oh, some of my homegirl's veggie enchiladas...drool!

18. Beatles or Stones? Soooooooo not my generation. P!nk, b!tch!!

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be? Just one?! Damn you!!!

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor? Rum! Vodka! Gin! That is all. 

21. Do you have any phobias? I have more phobias than children have fantasies. 

22. What are your plans for the future? I want a doctorate in something--just so I can legitimately be called "Doc."

Practicality over Beauty

I mentioned that I've been choosing practically over beauty these days. Let's move that from the topic of technology to clothing (and accessories). True, I've started wearing makeup occasionally. It's done rather in a dark or Lady Gaga way to express my love of bright colors and contrasts. I'm not being serious when I wear it, so don't tell me I'm doing wrong. I know I'm doing it wrong--that's the point. Besides, fashion and beauty rules change so often, what's the point of keeping up with the "rules" anyway? Who are you to say what I should put on my face?

Shirt.Woot.com

Anyway...back to clothes. Much to Imah's chagrin, I've become a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. This has only been since the past couple years. I used to wear nice, classical sweaters in the cold months and modest blouses in the summer. All my clothes were too big and covered every part of my skin except my feet, head, and sometimes my neck (thank you, Mother).

This change to t-shirt came about because of college. I didn't have time to prepare my outfits (it can get amazingly complicated), and iron them and whatnot. Toss on underclothes, a tee, jeans, and sneakers, and you're good to go! I do occasionally wear skirts (I love skirts)--short ones. It horrifies my dear Imah if my calves show. Sigh.

Another reason I wear t-shirts all the time is because it's a great way to express myself. I love shirts that have funny/sarcastic sayings and images. I'm addicted to Shirt Woot. If you stalk through my Twitter pics, you'll see some of the t-shirts I've gotten (or want). That's the good stuff.

My mother laments that I don't look classy anymore. Hey, with a few well placed accessories (I'm good at that when I want to be), I can still pull off the stylish look.

As for looking attractive...ladies, this comes naturally. I don't need to show off my body, paint my face, or dress like a socialite to impress people. I certainly don't need (or want) to attract men. My problem is usually getting rid of them (Here's a question: why are men attracted to women that have no interest in them? Meanwhile, women drool over them and these guys don't even notice! *rolling my eyes*)

I like how I look--no matter what I'm wearing--and that's all that matters.

P.S. Cotton breathes! Synthetics don't (ew!).

Mothers are Tricky

This month is going to be super crazy!! So, it's nice that I'll be getting a computer soon. Sharing doesn't cut it when you have a test or homework due and your friend's parents are ineptly but enthusiastically navigating Facebook.

So, I was blown away (but ecstatic) when my mother offered the laptop (which we used to share when we lived together) to me. Of course, she tried to back out later and offer me an iPad instead. I mean, an iPad sounds nice and all--and I love techie stuff--but a laptop is just more practical. I've been choosing practically over beauty a lot more than I used to--I'll blog more on that later.

All I have to do is take a 6 hour round-trip drive to visit her and pick it up. That isn't so bad (watch me return incapable of human speech and drooling all over myself). No--Imah wants to set me up with someone. The problem is, it sounds like she's matching this guy with the old me (no one tells their mothers exactly everything, right? or do they??). I know she's been showing pictures of me around to anyone with fully functioning eyes, so it isn't surprising that this guy wants to meet me (as she says). I can't tell her everything--she's extremely strict, traditional, and easily shocked when it comes to my behaviors and actions--so I decided to give her a hint about some of the ways I've changed.

"Does he believe that men should be ruled by women? That women belong in the home?" I gave a feminist schpeel (I forgot to say that he can make his own damn sandwich--bugger! lol) to freak her out (because it will) and let her know that I am not interested in getting a husband--or kids (especially not kids!). She hasn't answered me since. I think I feed her too much new and foreign info to process.

Well, let me critique her praises of this marvelous mystery man. He went some college she approves of (this means little anymore). He has dark eyes and eyelashes (really, mother--eyelashes? somebody's staring too much). He served in the military (eh, I really don't think that's...um...as marriage potential, those men make me nervous). He looks young (I made my bf grow a beard so I don't feel like I'm dating a 12-year old--it's just creepy!). He likes old music and movies (ok, first, sorry--I have never liked old music; ok, a classic here and there but not regularly. As for movies, the year doesn't matter, I just want some ACTION!). He dislikes newer stuff (so...no Firefly or V for Vendetta? Screw that!). He's into his fancy old car (instead of ignoring me for his videogames, he'll ignore me for his car fetish--well, that sounds productive), and driving fast (F^*& no!!!!!! She knows I hate speed!!). His other qualities include: "sweet, fun, great attitude, honest." That's wonderful, mother, why don't you take him. She actually told me to ditch the "blondie/blue-eyes." That sounds a little racist to me.

She wants to set me up with this new guy. Ew. Romance isn't really my thing. This sounds suspiciously like a blind date. No way in hell!! I'm bringing out my goth tramp persona for this trip. Hmm...it might be fun after all! (I just love freaking people out!) :-D

P.S. If it seems like I condone anything about this guy, I was being sarcastic.