Watch this!

Some women would love to have this watch!

Have you ever noticed watches? How the men's watches differ from the women's watches? For women, you might see cutesy, dainty watches in pretty colors (e.g. pink). For men, you probably see big watches--either the "don't I look wealthy" analog type or the macho/outdoorsman digital type that's decked out with a thousand different features.

What if someone (like me) happens to want a watch that does all that awesome stuff but doesn't look like a robot's rear end? What if someone wanted that watch to look "nice"--maybe even colorful (pink, for example)? Are men afraid of color? Are women too simple-minded to figure out all those extra features? Is this what the manufacturers think of us?

Satan's Dinner

I found this image on a website I liked on Facebook. It resonated with some things that have been happening in my life recently--among which is my metamorphosis into feminist. I've been a feminist since I was child, I just didn't fully realize it.

Anyway, about the connection between the image and my life...my boyfriend's parents have been dropping hints, suggesting, and telling me I need to cook. Ok. Sure. It's a good skill to have. I'm not totally helpless. I dabble here and there. I feed myself and I'm neither too fat nor too thin (maybe they think I'm too thin? I get that sometimes). Part of the problem is that I'm what my mother calls oppositional. To be exact, I can go along with almost anything if I'm asked kindly--no pressure. However, if I even feel pushed or pressured, I tend to clam up, shut down, or push back. If you pressure me to eat my beloved ice cream, I won't do it. I'll die (or take you down) first! Haha!

I could have lived with the hints and nudges even though lately I keep picturing myself cooking in the kitchen like a "good little woman" and it sends chills of horror and revulsion down my spine. No. It was my boyfriend's dad (who I usually adore) who set me off.

"You'll never get married if you can't cook."

... ... ... Oh really?? First of all, marriage is not an aspiration of mine. I almost got trapped in my previous relationship (he was the "perfect guy"). Why would I want to shackle myself to another man? I'm sure my feelings will change, but from where I stand right now, I view marriage as a prison--a stifling straight-jacket. It both terrifies and horrifies me.

Second, as I told some friends, what century is this guy living in? Are there really men out there who think that way? That women are worthless if they can't make food and shovel it into their (apparently) useless bodies? You have a brain and hands...make your own damn sandwich!

Sadly, I'm sure there are men out there like that. My boyfriend told me after we had gone to a friend's birthday party at a casino that two guys there had talked to him about me. Apparently, they were shocked that I was dancing with other men.

"You let your girlfriend do that?"

I got pissed when I was told (good thing we had already left) because they had said my man "let me." Let me?! Dudes: I'm his girlfriend--not his sex slave. And I am not about to let some man hold me down! I saw it happen in my family much too often. By the way, I don't dance with men--at all. I hate couples dancing. The dancing these two macho, wanna gangsters saw was when all the girls at the party danced in a circle around the birthday boy. Ooooo, scandalous!

Back to the main point. I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm going to college so that one day I'll be able to support myself--and not be dependent on anyone else (that includes men). I have neither the time nor the desire to lie down and succumb to society's patriarchal ideals of womanhood (i.e. cook for and feed a man). A true woman is strong, confident and at least capable of being independent. It's one thing to choose to devote yourself to another person (e.g. a man). It's entirely another thing to do because you have no choice or believe (because you were taught) that you have no choice.

I don't have the patience to deal with a man who's so shallow he can't see or love me for who I am and what I am doing with my life. I am a woman. We're not supposed to be easy.

Sociology and Terrorism

As part of my homework for sociology, I watched an excerpt of this video by Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy about children getting recruited into terror organizations. It gave the link to the full video, so I thought I'd share.

My Greatest Fear:

People.

We human beings have the potential for great good and great evil--within each and every one of us. That potential is amplified (usually in the negative) when we congregate into groups. It's groups of people that tend to terrify me.

I read a study in college last semester that claimed people's IQ decreases when they join into a group. The collective IQ of the group is lower than that of its individual members.

That isn't what scares me about groups of people, though. You know the phrase "mob mentality"? That is what terrifies me. 1.) I don't want to lose myself to a group of other people--I don't want to lose myself or become someone (something) different at all! Even temporarily. 2.) The thought of people morphing, changing, into something different--into some collective creature--is like something out of a nightmare.

Don't get me wrong, I don't cower in my room whenever I'm confronted by an approaching hoard of people. I used to hyperventilate in extremely large crowds (no summer fairs for me), but I've gotten over that. I used to imagine myself in a protective bubble. Now, I no longer have to do that. Still...groups, hoards, assemblies, mobs of people make me nervous.