Sugar Fiend

This is lovely. I'm craving sugar. I have ginger cookies and candy bars, both of which will taste delicious in my vanilla ice cream! Do I want any of this? Of course not! Noooooo, I have to crave something I don't have, such as sugar cookies, donuts, and cinnamon rolls! Grr!


Well, despite my current salivation, let me give a quick update. I got my hair chemically relaxed. I figured it would be easier to deal with during the icky transition period of growing out my hair. It's still super cute short. I don't know if I'll keep it long for a long time. Short hair fits my personality. Oh well--enough of that. Apparently, the stylist underestimated the resistance of my hair. I'll be returning for a touch up later this week. I can already see some curl in some areas I accidentally got wet. Oh well. We'll see how this goes!

Now, off to satisfy my inner sugar fiend!

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You're so funny, I forgot to laugh.

I was out shopping with Imah, and we got to talking about clothing--women's pants in particular. I went off on one of my goofy diatribes, and I had her nearly rolling on the floor with laughter. Of course, she wouldn't have rolled on the floor. If there is anyone who is more aware of how dirty and unsanitary the floor of any shopping center is, it's Imah.

Well, once she got her breath, she said I might have the makings of a comedienne. First of all, let me just inform you that if Imah is going to compliment you, she'll say "Well, look who doesn't appear to have just rolled out of bed this morning!" or "Don't worry, honey, I've seen worse." Grades are a lost cause. "99%?! Why the **** wasn't it 100%?! Or higher!!"

So...when Imah said I might have the makings of a comedienne... Behold! the boundless fields of my never-ending ego!

However, life has managed to shove SOME practicality down this dreamer's throat. I mean, being a comedian is hard work. Don't they have to...well...TALK? Eh...that won't work for me. Unless they come up with a contraption that lets you write your humorous script and then delivers it for you...No, that still doesn't work. I've been told that part of what makes me funny is my wide range facial expressions. In other words, I have a funny face. (Ha! And certain people thought I wouldn't catch on to what they were really saying about me!!)

Alas! Only my in-person friends get to see that funny face. The rest of the world will have to deal with my fantastically egomaniacal writings!

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Lucky 13 post

Thursday Thunks: Do Elephants Come With a GPS Installed?

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of my kitchen table and the number 45.

10. What number blog post is this for you? Wow--hey! This is my lucky 13! Thanks for pointing that out!

9. You are driving down a road and your GPS says turn right, but the road has a Dead End sign. You check your GPS and according to it's map, there is a road at the end of the Dead End road that you need to turn onto. Do you follow the GPS? LOL! No. GPS is often wrong.

8. If you had a $2 bill, would you spend it? Yes--on something purely decadent. Like two dollar sundaes!

7. When there is nobody else around and you sneeze or cough, do you cover your mouth? Heck no! That's disgusting and unsanitary! I sneeze into the crook of my arm! 

6. You are a DJ at a radio station and your first guest is Bud... what is the first question you are going to ask him? What are the twins up to these days? ;-) 

5. Have you ever stopped to help a stranger with a flat tire? No. 

4. You get on an airplane and you find that your seat neighbor is Kimber... what do you talk about or do you ignore her completely? Is she feeling any better? 

3. Have you ever rode an elephant? No. I'm waiting for my chance to ride a camel!

2. Time to bitch & moan! What is your biggest complaint about your current friends on Facebook? I'm not on FB near as much  as I used to be. Strangely enough, my many complaints have dwindled. Less time=less complaints! Haha! 

1. School is back in session for all little girls and boys now. What, in your life, changes when kids go back to school? Well, it's back to school for me, too. My schedule is a little whacked, so I'll be away from home all day. Sigh. I wouldn't mind if I had my own laptop. I have extra travel charger for my awesome phone! :-D

Kidzilla

Ah, this video brings back the childhood memories! I never treated my Hot Wheels like that! Most of the time...

Weird Spooner!

Just referred to myself as a spooner. I was discussing my odd habit of continuing to sip from my spoon when there is only milk left in a bowl of cereal (instead of drinking straight from the bowl at that point as most people do). Only afterward did I realize the meaning of the word I used...in speaking to my mother.

Awkward. 

This is after she called me freaking weird! Why? Because I tried some sour cream on beans! Hahaha!

I'm back! Temporarily...

Good grief! I'm away for the holidays and the world explodes around me! I'll try to catch up with everyone on Monday! I can't make any promises about Sunday. Also, this new week is my last week of freedom before classes start back up. I really wish they didn't--for multiple reasons. After that, I'll be lucky to post a blog a few times a month! Sadness! 

Backspace Fail & Lemur Jedi!

I used to  work in a tech support position. It was a the customers like this that made my day:

see more Failbook
I love a good laugh! Hahahaha!

This was too cute not to post. Ever since I watched Madagascar, I've loved lemurs. For the record, though: mirror cats are WAY cuter!


see more Very Demotivational

Tagged--by Wendy at Foolishness and Mayhem!

Thanks to Wendy at Foolishness and Mayhem for tagging me!

1. Why did you start blogging?
It's fun! I enjoy playing memes and sharing stories.
 

2. If you could travel any where in the world with no restric tion of costs, where would it be and why?

Italy. There are so many beautiful, historical monuments that I'd love to see. It's a beautiful place.

3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influ­ence on your life? If so, what?
I had two teachers who--though they were both considered the meanest at that school--noticed I was having a tough time and actually made time to work it out with me...not just academically but with some personal issues as well. It made me realize that it's the strict teacher who really care. 

4. If you could spend the day with a famous per son, who would it be, and what would you do? Famous people don't really impress me. I would really like to meet Dr. Ben Carson, though.  His life story blew me away when I read it.  His example inspires me. 

5. Toilet paper — over or under? Naturally, I am an under person but I switched to over for the ease of my guests. 

6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.

I would have started college sooner. 

7. Tell about your pets — if any.
I currently have no pets, though I'm dreaming of a greyhound and yearning for a snake. Oh, I really want a sphinx cat, too. There are a lot of really beautiful ones besides that stereotypical one. 

8. Do you live in a small town or a large town. (You don’t have to name the town.)
Small--but I live near a big city.

*edit* Opps! I forgot to tag some people!


I am Harriet
Debster
Becki
Eric Alder
Bud Weiser

A Great Edukashun :-P

One of my favorite sites to check out is Failbook--a collection of funny or fail-worthy status updates from Facebook. Recently, it has made fear for the future of the world...but then I realize I'm taking this too seriously and laugh it off. Even geniuses have their dumb moments, no? :-D

Just remind me to never send my furture children to this person's school.


see more Failbook

Sigh. This is why I'm giving up on my dream to teach English. At least where I am, most Americans don't even care about speaking/writing proper English. I refuse to teach unteachable, mediocre, willfully ignorant people. I may sound harsh, but Jane Austen and Mark Twain had no patience with ignorant people either. That's just how I was raised--though there is evidence that I am naturally that way. I was a proud, smart, smart-assed, perfectionist of a child. For example, I had all my legos and doll clothes separated in baggies and organized by color and shape--and before any other kid played with my stuff, they had to wash their hands. No, I wasn't OCD at all. Having my day planned out to the hour and picking out outfits a week ahead of time proves it!

Ok, so...enough about my wild youth--back to the funnies! When my future children bcome teens, I am totally posting this in their bedrooms!


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Screw you, Sneezes!

Take that, allergies! I've been suffering from allergies pretty badly this week. Today, I woke up feeling much better, and, after a pumped workout, I felt fantastic!

I have no idea why this is. I've been hearing a lot of people in my area have been struggling with allergies, as well.

Allergies are one of my least favorite parts of adulthood--besides bills and aging. Haha!

Well, I'm off to do some housecleaning--assisted by the Black-Eyed Peas! Yeah, baby! Let's get it started!

P.S. Don't break a nail, Fergie.

Reality Fail

I've been here before...


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The Sultana's First Meme!

Well, since my other blog is down for awhile, I might as well make use of this one. I don't know how I'll manage this and the other blog once the other is back. I will probably just merge the two. I really like both layouts, though. Choosing one will be the real challenge. I know changing my blogger name will be confusing for some, but I really like the new title. I may not change it back. D-u-c-h-e-s-s-D-e-t-h-r-o-n-e-d was getting boring. Yes, I was doing it to keep my pride in check, but...1: that is simply not possible--lol; 2. why hold myself back? Empowerment is where it's at, baby!

Anyway, thanks for putting up with my multiple personalities. LOL! On to the fun stuff!

 Congratulations to
KIMBER & BERLEEN!
at once a week...a great milestone

Welcome to the September 2nd edition of 
Thursday Thunks!

(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)
Where we make you think a little bit before you blog!
We pick a subject, and your job is to interpret it anyway you want.
Write about it on your blog... simple as that.
Maybe you can interpret it as a picture - we don't care!
Please only leave a link if you have written a Thursday Thunks post.
Don't forget to go visit the other participants' blogs.
Read and comment about all their Thursday Thunks responses!
That's what all this is about after all, isn't it?
We'll have so much fun and become lifelong friends....

Thursday Thunks: At the Zoo

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of my neighbor's wife's eyes and the number 33,333.

1. Would you rather have a pet hippo or a pet elephant? I'd rather have a tigeress, but since that's not a choice, I'll take an elephant.  They're better for travel than hippos and mine can help cleaning chores, such as washing the car and and watering the garden. 

2. Why do you think bananas are shaped the way they are? Aren't real bananas round? 

3. In one word (OK, you can go three to four MAX) , what do most people describe you as? Crazy--in a fun way!

4. Choice (stupid but a choice…): Loss of vision, ability to speak or hearing - which do you choose? (you have to choose one....) It's like a law. But we can't make you. That's rough. I might choose vision, but I'd miss the sights of nature and people's facial expressions.  I really wouldn't miss talking--but singing would be hard to give up. Hearing...there's no way I can give up music and the sounds of nature. Life would be so boring without sound! Vision really doesn't impress me. What with technology and most of my conversations happening via text or social networking, I don't think I'd miss speech that much. So, I'd give that up.

5. Do you like lemons? Do you use them to clean with or just as a food source? Or are you saving them up for 2012? I like so eat them!

6. When you are feeling icky with that sickness feeling, what is your first choice for feel-better medicine? Ginger ale!
7. You are starving. You have not had anything to eat for days. In front of you is poison ivy, a live hissing cockroach, and a rotten stinky piece of some sort of mystery meat to eat. Which would you pick and why? I might choose the mystery meat--but on the other hand, I don't want that nearly un-killable cockroach vying with me for that meat. 

8. Who was the last person you bought a present for? What was it? Will you buy Berleen one? I bought a special friend a silver-gray fedora. Fedoras rock! If she likes them--sure.

9. Name 3 things you want your kids to learn before they grow up. (If you don't have kids, feel free to explain to the other players why you chose the “no kids“ choice. Yea. I know. (Those who have children will NEVER get it. And no, don‘t explain it…) Well, IF I do have kids, I only want boys--girls are too moody and complicated. Trust me...I would know. ;) I want them to learn responsibility, respect (especially toward women), and critical thinking. 


10. What was your favorite toy as a child? What happened to it? I had a favorite stuffed animal. Her name was Lamby. I still have her--and many other childhood stuffed animals--on a shelf by my bed. 

11. If you could paint your house ANY color you wanted and your friends, family & neighbors would love the color from the moment they saw it, what would it be? Hot pink, of course!!

12. If the Pillsbury Dough Boy got into a fight with Mrs. Butterworth who would win? And would anybody get hurt? And do we seem desperate even asking? Mrs. B.--hands down. Have you seen the spatula/spoon in her hand? My mother used to spank me with one just like it. Besides, the Dough Boy looks like a total momma's boy. One swat of Mrs. B's spoon, and he'll step in line! Yeah, you do sound rather desperate, but you sound more hungry, actually. 

13. What was the last thing you would guess that Kimber took a picture of? No idea--kids or flowers, maybe?